What i'm done!!

1st company - GELA
Position : Personal Assistant

Routine Job

1. check boss new biz, alteration, claim, email...status

2. update to my boss via sms.

3. check production twice per month and update it to boss.

4. made the comparison with the previous month and previous year.

5. follow up all the claiming and alteration via online or direct check with HQ.

6. failing documents.

7. proceed claiming expenses with HQ

Miscellaneous

1. made payments - electrical bill, Indah Water bill, phone bill...

2. made bank transactions - cash and cheque

3. refill the stationary, sanitary...

4. take care boss plants

Ad-hoc

1. standby and wait orders from boss when working hour

2. fulfill any requested by boss

Illegal activities I had done

1. watch movie + drama

2. late back from lunch

I work 2months and quit!

2nd Company - GF S/B
Position: Aministrator

Routine Job

1. switch on boss room light, air-cond and air filter

2. switch on air-cond that around me, my PC, open all looked cabinet.

3. add value on my face

4. have a cup of beverage - coffee or tea or Chinese Herbal drink

5. start checking my mail - company account

Job Scopes

1. take care environment and security in department, plants (included plants in washroom)...

2. alert and aware all usage in pantry and washroom.

3. received internal and external incoming call.

4. liaise with all departments for hotel booking and flight booking (for the managers and visitors)

5. adminstarive and secretary duties

6. assist the bosses and the executive secretary.

> conclusion: my job is 'Bao Shua Bao Hai' sometime represent company and boss, sometime is the office girl.

Illegal things that i had done

None


I just passed my probation period.

Survive...

I stopped almost 5 months to writing a blog, although i know that my blog was unscreened by anyone. I'm scare to wrote anythings bcos i know that i will be very sad and emotional.
Although I just stepped in work society around 5 months and just changed 1 job, currently job is my 2nd job, but this changes was given a big impact for my life and careers, there is a big different between my 1st job and 2nd job,

My previous company is a small and simple structured company and my current company is a big and complicated company; but the main point is I'm the GM administrator, my department is director floor.
In this company, I saw the real working society and the real face of human. I also was requested by CEO secretary to made a big changes for my personality and image, i must be look and think mature, including the style i eat, walk, talk, sit... sometime also need to ACT in other characters, can be myself, so tired...

Now i notice that why some philosopher said the life like theatre, you need to act for survive in this world.

My new life...

Jobless abt 2month at home, finally i get a job as personal assistant-PA. My boss is a insurance manager, whn she interview me, i feel comfortable n din hv any stress. She also is my secondarly school senior n also study same courses with me in degree bt different uni lo,hehe...
C tat both of us hv some common ground, i think i will work happy. When i get d offer, i'm so ecxcited, cos finally i get a job tat i hv admire long time. Nw i hv a problem nd 2 solve-transport!! Bt dont worry, i think it will solve soon.
More 2days i will go 2 work, hope it will get smooth n it wil be all right!!
ADD OIL!!!!!
KAMBATE!!!!

Frez...C u all next time!

Some of my frez stil continue their uni life, especially d science student, they courses r 4 years duration n just a few ppl continue future study by taking master courses. 2ml is d 1st day for all uni student except Kedah, Kelantan n Terengganu. They start class on today.
Nw me r so be envious of them can continue study n enjoy their uni life. Bcoz after grad, nd face a nw challenge in tis realistic community, find a good job for own future, earn $ for continue own life n also family.
B4 grad, me alrdy hv debt. Y? Bcoz i borrow $ from gov-PTPTN 4 my degree study n nw finish my degree nd start pay back 2 gov. Bt d gov is good also cos it no nd 2 pay back d debt immedially after grad, v giving 1 year time 2 hv a break n find job thn after 1 year gov wil mail us letter tat inform us can start pay our debt.
Last9, i meet my frez 4 hi tea thn v chat n chat abt 2 hours. Bt d time r running so fast, at d last v all gtg cos almost of us hv another date or appointment. V all made a date with each other tat meet whn they back.
To all my dear frez, safe journey n study hard ya!! C u all next time.

Jobless,失业...

My uni life alrdy finish near abt 2 month but me still sit at home n do nothing. It means I'm jobless, haiz... This is my new life after 3 years uni life. this 2 month i just sit at home, face the computer online or read newspaper. For wat?search jobs!
Although have some respond from some company for asking go 2 interview, but i was fail. Some of the interviewer is very nice, give me some advice n very good 2 me, but everything are won't smoothly n lucky. 1 of the interview give me very bad impression, i know tat my skill are poor n i stil is a fresh grad, bt she no nd try 2 satirize me n also suspicion my academic result although i'm was a active student whn study uni. At tat moment i'm very angry n my mentality was start abnormal n i stil very remember with clearly wat she said 2 me.
This 2 month i just get 5 interview n i just enter 4 interview from this 5. Luckly tat i just hv 1 bad interview experience.
I know tat i alrdy 2 month din write blog cos hv some reason n 1 o them is i'm lazy,hehe...
This 2 month my family randomly ask me fast2 get a job thn no nd everyday sit at home as useless person, sien nia...
Now if i go working, i'm stil hv problem nd 2 solve -- i din hv transport!!!!!
Now dont think so much, wait n c hw is going future...

复杂的情感。。。

偶尔感觉失去斗志，才会发现到原来之前自己是如何的爱拼~ 为什么现在变成这样子了？是走得太快了吗？还是太慢？还是眼前的挑战令自己怯步呢？
自己很想冷静下来，自我分析所发生的事情，但有时就是太过的砖牛角尖，往往都很难解决自己所面对的一切，等到发生了一些不愉快的事件后，事情已一发不可收拾了！
凡人--顾名思义就是平凡的人，没有任何特异功能，很多事情是无可避免的，社会是现实的，这是理所当然。以为“家”是很温暖的，永远都是安全港，但有时候我会问自己，是吗？为何我会有这种想法，是我的错觉吗？还是我想太多了？但，往往发生在我身上的许多事件都令我会有这种想法，我开始怀疑所谓的家，是否有如大家所说的如此安全与温暖呢？
我很想跟自己说这是你自己想太多了，停止再转牛角尖。是否太理智是会有反效果呢？
除了自己所面对的烦恼，压力，等等。。。 家里所发生的事件，吵闹，压力，争执，等等。。。都令我感到加倍的压迫感，时时刻刻好像要爆炸了一样，我好担心有一天我会逃到外面去，撇开一切，什么都不管。因为当我还是个高中生时，我一是个很有想法与独立的女孩子，家人对我的不了解，不关怀与不公平的对待，我都试着做出抗议，但一次又一次失败了，所以当时的我就曾经萌起离家出走的念头，但我还是放弃了。
在大学的这3年里，我想了很多计划，想以后工作后，开始积存不动产，先买车子，然后买一座小单位，搬出去住，然后每年都有一个旅行计划。搬出去住，是让自己有个私人空间与喘气的空间，离开这有一点点阴影的家。有人可能认为我这样做太不可思议了吧，毕竟那是你从下到大生活的家啊！这样太夸张了吧。
不过现在的我认为这是唯一能解决我心灵上的问题。可能过了几年我现在的想法又换了，事情的转变与变化谁都布置也不懂，事实是难以预料的！
祝自己：事事都顺利

my future...

i really cant make a decision 4 my own future. at 1st i plan 2 continue further study--MEc(Master of Economics), but after tat 1 study MBA (Master of Business Administration). my Friend told me if 1 study MBA better have working experience especially if study at oversea. then my plan change again, plan working 1st then continue study after working 2-4 years.


me start searching job but i don't know 1 work in which field, work at where... my face many problem include financial, pressure from family... i very confusing n struggle. last 2 days i wrote my resume but i stuck at the part - what the position job i want it. i just left it like that and save in my notebook.


until now i din open it 2 edit again, i afraid 2 do it. i really dont know hw 2 continue my future, suddently i feel tat my plans all are out of my control, i cant follow what i 1 2 do. i stuck!!! i'm unassisted!!!

继续？？放弃？？--ending

昨天听朋友说他有了女朋友，开始还不是很相信，发现他在线上就再次以朋友的语气问他，同时也一直跟自己说他不会回应我的，或否认它，但事实却被我而驰，不一会儿他就承认了她的存在。
本人的第六感一向来都满准的，一猜就猜到是哪个女的（不是我的之前我所说得我的好朋友，是一个我有看过的女生，他的朋友），他也承认了。不过在感觉这方面的sence，本人却慢了点，我的好朋友知道这件事后，立即sms我还好吗？倔强的我还一幅‘我很好，我没事’的表现，别担心！
不过，说完这几句话，我的心开始在淌血了，心突然好痛，一整天都不知所措，想到在泰国买的手信，它将永远都不会到达主人的手中，我对他的感觉都永远的深埋在我心中，以后谁都将不会知道这秘密。
今天朋友们会举行一个gathering，本来叫他顺便来在我因我不懂地点，我的车也坏了，问他可否来在我一趟，他居然跟我说忘了我家在哪儿，我顿时感到对这男人绝望了。有如我学长对我说的‘不是你的，他将不会属于你’，强求的爱情是不幸福的。女人，要做个被爱的人，别做个去爱的那个人。
写完这篇文章后，对他的一切一切感情与感觉，就籍着把它给放下与忘掉，重新开始重视自己的新生活。

the end

烦烦烦。。。

时间过得真快，一眨眼四个月-一个学期就快完了！很有可能的人生最后一次考试就快要来临了。最近朋友们一直搞gathering, 害我的心情一直处在落寞与感叹，很舍不得一起在大学生活的朋友与知己。现在的我，呆在家里收拾心情与准备面对即将来临的期末考试，希望这次考试一切都顺利，平安过关。
有好多好多话想说，但却不知该从哪里说起，思绪好乱，家人一直追问读完书后要到哪里工作，要从事哪一行，等等。。。已出来社会工作的朋友们都说现在好多公司都要请人，不愁没工作，以我们的学历好多公司都要聘请，叫我别担心。
但我的心还是很乱，爸爸年级已高，上还有一个的就读硕士的哥哥，下还有一个小学六年级的妹妹。父母亲还一直暗示我该去工作了，帮忙补贴家用。
好烦哪。。。。。。

2008—1st Diary (12/1/08)

This is my 1st week diary when I back 2 uum. 1st day when I reach my room I feel very shock! Why? My college, my block and also my room didn’t change, roommate already change (before back already know it.) Let me feel shock is I need acclimatize oneself to the new roommate and the new side in same room that I sleep. The new roommate is not matter to me but is the new side that I will sleep in a semester. I already have the habit at the old side and all equipments, I already used 1 year and has bring out my sentiment with them all.

I request to my new roommate to change back my old place to me but she reject my request with put her one's foot down. I feel so down and like a failure-(super senior vs. super junior—super junior WIN) start clean my new place and keeping my things in the all new equipments. This is 1st time I in uum (already 2½ years) can’t sleep well and have a nightmare. The second day I tell myself that I need to comfort the new ‘environment’ and try get the ‘fun’ at the new side, then I will have a good 3 years memory for my university life. This is my last semester in uum, I must have a happy n joyful for this about 4 months.

But human is a very unpredictable organism, if you want to life in this many competitors world you must comfort yourself in this situation. In a short 1 week, I almost 90% comfort myself in the new side and start my dissipated life. What I’m doing? Morning I go to attend class, then at night I like a useless human do some useless things, haha… Start the first 3days, I went to my friend room chat until about 12am then go back to room and sleep. The rest I stay in room and watching Korea entertainment programmed—Love Letter because my friend goes back home. I just go out when feel very hungry to buy either lunch or dinner. Love Letter is very funny and always made me laugh; sometimes my body is uncontrollable shake with them!

Sometimes I also have chat to my new roommate or same block friends, don’t worry that I became dummy. Just have 1 night I got go to online a moment to find some info for my mom and also check mail. Why so many times can go to online and didn’t go and just go a moment? It is because I’m lazy and have many mosquito at the hall, this is 1 of reason I call myself is useless!! Agree? The last day in this week is end soon, tomorrow is a new day and a new week. Hope me can stop this dissipated life and start a new meaningful life. This weekend I will back home because Sunday is holiday and total have 4 days holidays, yeah!!

继续？？放弃？？

有时候人就是很奇怪，时常执著着一些不可能发生的事情。本人就是那其中一个的怪胎！虽然事实就摆在眼前，已告诉自己一直所幻想的事会发生的可能性是等于0，但就是自我催眠和编了许多理由来说抚自己，自我安慰来等多一些些时间，可能不久一直以来所想象的将会实现！！好笑吧！

认识他不久而已，不到一年的时间，认识他之前，不久不久都会听到朋友提起关于他的一些事情，而却不知他是何方神圣，还被朋友取笑。就在07年的7月，我们就由朋友正式地介绍下当起了朋友。在短短的2个月里，我们由普通朋友变成好朋友，无话不谈，甚至当起谈心的朋友。就这样的情况下，我们的友谊慢慢地变得很微妙，而我的心也不知不觉地陷入了一个深渊/无底洞---暗恋。

不知不觉关心他的一举一动和他的心情，我也晓得他的心是很难进入的。因为我知道我不是他心中的那的人。但我还是试着靠近他，也很傻的制造一些机会来靠近他，更傻的是只敢在朋友的范围里，不敢踏越朋友界限，很怕一旦跨越了就把我俩的友谊从好朋友倒会比普通朋友还普通。我坦诚地承认我受不起着打击！因为我还不是一个坚强的人，虽然在朋友眼中的我是个坚强的女人。

在我生日的前一天我们俩还有通讯息，他没说什么，只提起明天会在某个食堂吃饭。 生日的前一晚和当天，我耐心的等待他的祝福讯息，但希望落空！包括较好的朋友们也没有一个向我祝福。我也没疑，因大家都有考试除了我以外。就在傍晚时，打了一通电话给好朋友-蓉，约她出来吃饭，却被拒绝了！我只好默然的到另一个食堂打包，就是不想跟他碰面。就在这时候，那几个好朋友包括他在内在那儿谈天，我顿时感到好可悲，因被大家给遗忘了！食欲顿时减至零%，默然的打算回房间去，什么都不想吃了。

就在这时候他叫了我一声，叫我一起坐谈天，待会儿到另一个食堂吃饭。蓉一直跟我道歉，我也接受了。不久我们就去吃饭，半途中几位朋友突然不知走到哪儿，只剩下我们两人，我开始感到有点奇怪了，就在这时，几位朋友和刚才搞失踪的朋友一起出现了，手上还带了一个蛋糕，还我感到感动不已！我们也高高兴兴的一起吃饭和庆祝我的生日。回到房间我一一发讯息来答谢他们，蓉问我今年生日很特别吧！她还告诉我这次的惊喜是他计划的，蛋糕也是他买的，就在这时我更确定我爱上他了！也很自以为是做下他可能也对我有意思的想法。

我一直以来都没告诉他我爱上了他，我没那勇气，在这方面我选择做个懦弱的人，把这份感情深深的埋在心底。不过有几个较好的朋友看出我的心意，还带我去看算命和塔罗牌，牌中所显示的提示说我的真名天子已出现，不过现在是以朋友的身份出现在我的身旁，如要成功成为一对还必须从朋友的关系慢慢地酝酿感情澄情人。而我就往这方面努力，不过最近的我萌然其放弃的念头，因为最近我刚交起的一个女性好朋友告诉我她爱上了他，我也借了不同的理由来问他对这位女生的感觉，他也告诉我说如果有机会，他会跟她发展下去。

就在这时候我的心时如此的痛和悲伤，但还要强忍，用开玩笑的语气告诉他我喜欢上他，他还说我是否发疯，不当那回事是一回事。在那厢我还告诉了她，他对她有好感，双方都有意思，我那还敢叉一脚下去。所以那时候的我有一段时间把他给忘了，我以为已经放弃了，但当他传讯息给我时，我感到无比的喜悦，又开始我之前无知的行为，不过没以前那么敢迈向情人的界限靠近。因为以我的了解，如我靠近它，他将退到我俩之间的安全朋友界线。

放假前他问我可否载他一程，为了在放假前再一次的和他相处，抱着希望，一口答应了他，虽然必须待在大学多一天等他考试完毕。就在回家的前一天，他告诉我将会与他同乡的朋友一起回家，我顿时感到茫然，但还笑着说无所谓，与同乡回家较方便，无需再搭一趟巴士才能到家。他一直道歉还答应我下次一定陪我回家，因那天我是一人驾车回家的，好闷啊！当时收到那样的承诺感到很窝心，那封讯息存在电话中都不舍得洗掉。

放假时我俩有通讯息，还约好如果可以的话在吉隆坡见面，因为某个原因我们把这次见面改成回家乡时才见个面和看电影。因我妈要到他家那地区去见老朋友，我也拨电话给他问路。因这凑巧的机会下，我们见了面，也约好下星期一起去看电影。等了一个星期，因又某个原因延期了。圣诞快到了，本来蓉和朋友会下槟城与我们一起倒数，但蓉父亲进院动个小手术，不能来了，我们也取消活动。这是我再次鼓起勇气问他我们的电影之约，他再次答应下星期也是回大学前的那个星期会遵守他的承诺，结果我再次被他放鸽子，一通讯息也没有来交待，可能是不必吧，只是我个人想太多了。

到了现在，每个他所承诺的讯息我都洗了，因那时的我已萌起了放弃的念头，以为自己是个干脆的人，重新调理自己的心情，告诉自己可以把那份单恋的感情给放下。我试着把它放下，但当我在回到大学时，忍着不发讯息给他，同时的我又很期待他会发讯息给我，现在的我才发现一直以来我都是在欺骗自己而已，以为把那段爱给放下了，好傻好傻！！朋友的生日快到了，我也有预感很有可能会在那里跟他再见面，但还不懂该用怎样的心情来面对不懂我的他！


«爱一个人的意义时在他爱着另一个人的时候能放他走的勇气，那才是爱—因为爱而放你走。»

feeling-love-together or break? Part 2

Love is very unreasonable. When u love someone but he/she doesn’t know it or u tell him/her, him/her thought u just kidding, then u r very pity n need find a way let him/her know it. Before tell him/her the truth, u must think d risk-maybe u n him/her will as couple or u n him/her friendship will end or just became a normal friend n not a close friend or maybe still keep d same level in yours friendship. This is depends what will happen between u n him/her.

If u didn’t tell him/her then yours friendship will keep going on but u will feel more struggle. But d high level of struggle feeling is between u n him/her r ambiguous n your good friend told u that he/she have feel about he/she, then he/she also tell u have same feeling with your friend n if have chance will b together. Then what is your next step??

Try 2 maintain u n him/her friendship, then left d all feeling except friendship both of u will just as a good friend n nothing will happen. R u will let this situation happen?? Then find another guy/gal 2 as a couple? Love someone tat din love u or get someone tat love u more than u love him/her-which 1 u will choose or another decision?

Someone said because of love then let him/her go, when he/she r happy n blessedness then means that u wills happy n blessedness also. Wish him/her happy forever!!

The End